“So big, yet so small” 

 As I grace my hands through the broken parts of this seemingly broken shell. The outer shell that protected its image cracked, broken, as if it’s treated as waste.  

“it’s still beautiful though” I thought to myself. It shaken my core towards my inner child laying rest in my heart. 

I once was that shell… broken.  

Broken? 

 No, cracked to blossom growth.  

 Once beaten by words that made me doubt myself. Slammed down because I wasn’t someone’s version of perfect. Treated as if I wasn’t allowed to have value in myself no matter how small I forced myself to be. The color contrast of the mist of the cracked shell brightens the unique way the shell is different from every other shell. That beauty is my definition of perfect. 

“So big, yet so small”  

Moments of growing up I was criticized, judged, and looked down on. By the way I was perceived. 

 Viewed on as if I was an object of ugliness. I stood my ground to be as big and strong as a bear without realizing their voices, perceptions is belittling me. 

My sense of value and courage Is leaving, effecting my warmth I needed. 

“So big, yet so small” 

My protection is fading away; you can now see the cracks through my melanin skin I failed to protect myself with. The cracks of longing, anxiety, tenderness, and insecurity that don’t seem to go away. Imperfections that made me. 

Seem so strong, yet so sensitive. 

So perfect, yet so imperfect. 

So hideous, yet so pretty 

Seemed tough skinned, yet so soft to the touch. 

No matter how strong every strike hits you to the point you bear naked to your own imperfections, you are not worth any less.