Saved a Wretch Like Me


In the Bible, 2 Corinthians 5:17, it says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

I have had the amazing experience of living life as a lost soul and then finding myself surrendering to God because I realized only His grace and mercy can make me whole for eternity. When I got saved on June 18th, 2018, not only did my attitude change in the way I spoke and acted towards people, but I truly became the light this world so desperately needs. I could write a sermon I am sure everyone has heard at least once in their life, but instead, I want to write about my story, my testimony, and the love God has given me for picking up my cross daily to follow Him. I have full faith that the same God who created light, delivered a burning bush to Moses, and turned His staff into a snake; the same God who split the Red Sea, parted the Jordan River, scorched an alter saturated in water, and delivered His only son, Jesus, to die on a rugged cross to save every lost soul on Earth, is the same God placing these words on my heart to share with everyone reading.

I honestly grieve for those who try to make Christianity or following Christ a “religion.” In my opinion, religion is choosing to submit yourself to a list of rules and regulations to please God. There should never be a moment that you must feel obligated to act a certain way in an experience for God or to ignore a feeling in order to follow Christ. There is no possibility to “work your way” into Heaven. That is why I love the beauty of Christianity. It is a loving relationship between an imperfect human and their Creator, God. The key to having a true, vulnerable relationship with Christ is to be able to become humble before the Lord. I have asked a diversity of people ages young to old, from naïve to wise, and from open-minded to annoyingly stubborn hearts about why they have not placed their life in Jesus’ hands. They all answer with, “It isn’t worth giving up the fun materialistic gifts in the world to just live purely content with God.” Okay, they didn’t actually say those words, but they basically said that they were “too busy” for religion or that they have had an unpleasant experience staying committed to a religion. I then go and explain that Christianity is not like Roman Catholicism or Islam where there are strict rules to be followed through. I explain how God changes your heart to want to live as pure as possible and when all else fails, He forgives and continues to love. Jesus says in Mark 8:36, “What good is it for someone to gain the entire world, yet forfeit their soul?” In the end, God only cares for your heart to be with him so that there is a way to live an everlasting perfect life with Him and the incredible number of brothers and sisters of Christ.

When I was a lost soul, I had the hardest time being able to trust. I always had to find a reason behind everything. I drove myself insane wondering why circumstances happen for the worst or the better. When I had lost a friend, I always believed that I did not deserve a punishment like that. My pride had been written on my sleeve. I never recognized my faults which could have been the whole reason why my friends had to leave me. When something good came my way I automatically felt like I did not deserve it (little did I know this was the devil lying to me about my worth.) I was worried that the good gift to me would be taken away. As a lost soul, I was blind to the hurt and suffering around me. Little had I known that kids were going to my school and who lived in the same neighborhood as I that were battling some of their hardest trials at that time as a child then I would my whole lifetime. When I was a lost soul, I was getting too comfortable with the “norms” of the world. I had become confident saying harsh words that had no meaning behind them. I had become confident in my rude and passive actions towards others which would end up hurting my relationship with them in the end. “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another,” Jesus says in 1 John 4:11. As a lost soul, I was insecure in my identity and was constantly growing to be a woman of transient trends instead of a firm identity of “Daughter of the King” like I am today. As a lost soul, I had been deceived by the devil into thinking that by getting my way I would be happy. If I had continued to be ingested by the material items of today, I would continue falling short of happiness and would eventually lose hope. So many hopeless people today lose their battle to depression and anxiety and never get to experience true peace with God. As a lost soul, I was always shaky thinking about the future. I would cry because I wouldn’t know exactly where I was going to be in the next year, five years, or twenty years. With Christ now, I have someone to rely on and trust that if I seek Him, He will provide a plan.

One Sunday I had gotten ready for church. It felt like a normal day except for the fact that for a moment I had no control of my mouth and actions. Sitting in Sunday School, the youth pastor talked about a recent mission trip the students had taken that weekend. He was enthusiastic about all the children who had been saved that weekend and in the middle of his excitement, I, the quiet little girl I was, stood up boldly and stated that I wanted to be saved. I admit it was the Holy Spirit in me because never in my life would I purposely make myself the center of attention. My youth pastor reached for a hug and took me to pray with him about my decision, and at that moment I knew that I wanted to do the same thing that my pastor had just done to me for others. I instantly felt loved and at peace with God. I know there are so many girls and boys my age that has never felt the emotional process of getting saved and trusting God rather than putting the stress of the world’s problems all on themselves.

Now that I have been saved by God’s amazing grace, I intentionally look for those who are struggling. I seek out those who are living by society’s standards and I spill out all the miserable moments I experienced before I invited God to take control. I go into detail about how I would play with my friends’ feelings and stab them in the back just to get what I wanted out of them. As a found spirit, it makes my day better when I ask someone how I can help them, and they explain that they are struggling with a certain problem. I can empathize and share how I got through the same problem. As a Christian, I think about what I say and if it would hurt or help someone. Sometimes I have bad days, but on those days, I am grateful for the Lord’s forgiveness and His patience with me. In Psalms 103:8 it says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.” God shows us how to be towards others to make the best of everyone’s life. In today’s lifetime, everyone is hateful towards each other. There is no love once so ever for others or individuals personally.

In the Bible, there is a miraculous story about 3 men (Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego) who were thrown into a fire pit as imprisonment. God didn’t help them out of their threatening situation, but God protected them from the flames and made sure to show his existence to them. This gives me so much hope to know that when I go through a tough situation even though God may not deliver me from it, He will at least be there for me always. His presence and power will protect me. This is the kind of comfort everyone could have if they die to their old selves and habits and be born into a new life with the savior.

“I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see.” ~Amazing Grace