Dear Chip #9: “We Are Young, But High School Love is Real”

Dear Chip #9:

Dear Chip,

You know “teenage love”? It sucks, especially at a young age. I fell in love, truly. You know people don’t believe it and say you could never, you yet to even know the meaning of love. It isn’t true. I don’t believe I am IN love with .. let’s name him J… I do love him you know? but I don’t believe he is my person, at least not anymore. Young love is so confusing, every single teen is growing up and realizing what they want how they want etc. I used to think it was right person wrong timing. I guess I still do. J has done so much damage to me, mentally that is. I lost trust in people, I began to believe everyone would do what he had done. My heart used to ache at thinking of him. Tears would fill my eyes when our mutual friends brought him up. I don’t hate people , I just don’t believe in hatefulness.Though I thought hating him was easier than loving him. So I did. We see each other around the halls, never speak, i don’t check on him and he doesn’t check on me. I hope he learns to cherish the best parts of life. I hope he succeeds in everything he loves to do. I hope he gets everything in life. I hope he has the best senior year next year, I hope he gets into the college he’s dreamt of, I hope he gets every car he’s ever wanted, he loves them. Anyways,life got so much better, I am happy! I have lovely friends, I have an amazing family, and so on. But there are times I still think back.

I guess my question is, have you ever lost anyone, maybe not by death but by y’alls connection? possibly a sibling, a parent, friend, significant other, or a cousin. did it break your heart? how’d you function with your heart aching?

Sincerely, the person missing you

 

Dear The person missing you,

I think I can start by saying that we are young but high school love is real. Being a senior here and suffering from the introduction and abrupt losing of special people can certainly change your view on love and if you are good enough for it.

For the longest time after my first big heartbreak by whom we will call Jana, I felt unlovable. I hate saying it now, but I honestly thought she was “the one.” We did everything together throughout the quarantined summer we had. Her being older and graduated she had her whole life ahead of her and I was only getting used to the fact that I was soon to be a senior. From long car rides to meeting my entire family and getting to know who she truly was I convinced myself that it would somehow work out in the long run. After months of back and forth with Jana she finally gave into temptation with another member of our friend group while I was in rough shape physically. With no explanation on why she and this friend we will call Harris got friendly. I couldn’t do anything about it though, I was cooped up in the house missing practice and not hanging out with my friends. As far as functioning with the heart break, in my opinion we all take it differently but with me I think my way of coping was finding fun in the stuff we did together again and replacing those memories I made with her with new ones. Better people took those places, and it was my best decision of the year by far.

Losing her as the person I went to for everything and was one of the only people I would make time for tore me up. I started doing things I never thought my life would come to and was a different person overall. Talking seeing or even hearing of Jana made daily life harder and I shut down and blocked out everything good that had happened between us.

Further on down the road we somewhat mended the things that were broken but I will not be able to ever forgive her or forget the things she put me through. Almost four months later I have found myself again. In a more than healthy relationship with someone that I can officially say is going to be my high school sweetheart when I look back in the future. I can truly say that I have found the one for now, it may not be a forever type thing, but it seems like that for the most part. Going from someone who only cared about their life and said they cared about mine to someone who puts me first is all I can ask for.

I guess what I am trying to say is letting people like this push us around and manipulate us at such a young age should not be the thing we are most worried about. Friday night football games, getting your driver’s licenses, hanging out with your friends and just making memories that will last a lifetime, that is what high school is all about. Meeting milestones that you could never have reached if you were not to go out and live each day like it might possibly be your last. Get rid of the toxicity and do things to better yourself only before you take on the responsibilities of other people and their problems.

Sincerely,

Chip