Fearing the Future
November 11, 2022
Time: the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.
Stopping time is impossible; time’s inevitable. Life goes on whether you’re ready for it or not. I sit here, 16 years old, writing this. I’m two years away from being an adult. It’s the time when I’m supposed to be getting my driver’s license, getting a job, taking my SAT and ACT, figuring out my dream college, and setting the foundations for the rest of my life. Yet, I don’t want to do any of that. I want to be a kid forever. I spend my days trying to savor every little drop of being a kid I have left. Time, however, has no shame in rushing me along into a life full of accountability and independence.
Anxiety: a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
Anxiety is something I’ve always struggled with. Your heart rate starts to go up, your hands get sweaty, and your voice makes it obvious by the shaking when you try to speak. But what fuels this feeling? It’s the uncertainty of what will come out of the situation. I don’t know what will happen to me in the future. I could end up broke, living in a trashy apartment where I can barely pay rent. Or worse, I could end up alone forever. No friends, no family, no partner. No one to experience life with. It’s impossible not to worry about these things. The anxiety consumes me and leaves me clinging to the past when I’m supposed to be moving into the future, my future.
Responsibility: the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone.
Responsibility is everywhere. Whether it’s as big as a parent raising a child or as little as a student doing their homework, it’s there. As an adult, many more responsibilities fall onto your shoulders. While it’s true that taking on responsibility allows you to have more freedom, it’s still stressful to have so many things required of you. I already notice this happening in my life. I’m expected to be working my way up to be successful; no one else can do that for me. I miss the days when I was just a little girl with no worries. Everything was handed to me on a cute princess platter. I know that eventually I’m just going to have to get over this feeling and start taking responsibility. It’s just a part of growing up. Though in this moment, I wish for nothing more than all my daily responsibilities to disappear and leave me to be the little girl I once was.
Courage: the ability to do something that frightens one.
Courage is one of the best quality traits anyone could have. It’s not that someone doesn’t have fears but that they can face them. Everyone will have things that frighten them, but nothing will ever improve if you let that distress consume you. When you have the courage to face something, you can fight it. Sometimes you’ll lose, and sometimes you’ll overcome it, but not running away shows you have the bravery to try and improve the situation. Every day I fear my future. I fear how fast time is moving. I fear the anxiety that is destined to arise in future circumstances. I fear all the responsibilities that are right around the corner. And more than anything, I fear not having the courage to overcome any of these.
Crystal Levey • Mar 13, 2023 at 2:31 pm
Love this!!!!
Amanda Snyder • Feb 27, 2023 at 10:46 am
Wonderful piece! I’m so proud of you!
d'abruzzo • Nov 12, 2022 at 1:06 pm
probably you’re best piece yet