Ok, the problem with being single for so long is that when you go on a date it’s the most nerve-racking experience in the world. And today (whenever that is for you) I’m going to tell you about my first date.

I walk into work; I clock in, and I go to my cart sanitizing station in the front of the store beside the carts. It was a slow day since it was the beginning of March and there weren’t any major holidays going on. I was about maybe one and a half to two hours into my shift when I see this short, cute blonde girl come through the automatic sliding doors with her slightly taller brunette friend. She was wearing a strapless green crop-top with a cover up. She had a crystal necklace on and leggings too. She’s really pretty. I thought but didn’t think much about her because I see a lot of good-looking people go in and out of the store. That is until I hear her yell “Look at him!” from the check-out area across from me. I look over and see them walk out of the store looking at their phones. My first thought was that when she said “look at him” she was showing her friend a picture of someone on her phone. How wrong I was. About a minute later the cute blonde’s friend comes back in and comes up to me and says “Hey, my friend thinks you’re cute and wants to know if she can have, you’re snap.” I’m not gonna lie I hesitated at first, “uuuuuuuhhhh,” but I eventually answered her “Yeah.” I pulled out my phone and pulled up my snapchat so she could scan it and added me as a friend so she could show it to the cute blonde and she could add me. The cute blonde’s friend left and as she left my coworker who was working at the greeting stand turned to me and said “Ooo, my boy Joaquin out here getting girls snapchats.” I just laughed and said, “I guess so.” I wasn’t really the best conversationalist.

A few minutes later I got a notification on my phone, I pulled out my phone and flipped it up to my face. On the screen was a snapchat notification that said Kelly added you as a friend, and a few seconds later another one that said Sophie added you as a friend. And a few seconds after that I got another notification, Sophie sent a message. I didn’t get a chance to read it though because at that point the person who runs the front end of the store called out to me, “Hey, you can go on your break now, I’ll call someone up to cover carts.” I nodded and headed to the break room. When I got in, I sat down and opened my phone to look at Sophie’s message, it read “Hi.”

We talked for about a week or so until we set a date for a date. The days leading up to the date I was so nervous, I tried on outfit after outfit until I finally decided on a pair of ripped jeans, red flannel with a black undershirt, and my yellow and black vans. The day of the date I was incomprehensibly nervous. My heart was pounding all day, I was shaking, and my legs felt like jelly, until finally the time came for me to get ready. I put on my outfit and asked my mom for the keys to her car because I didn’t have my own car at the time. I got in the bright red, soon to be totaled by my brother, 2006 Toyota Carola, littered with dirty coffee, Styrofoam, and plastic cups. Not to mention the dirt, napkins, and used straws. After adjusting the seat and all my mirrors I was off.

The original plan was to go and get sushi at a place called Volcano, but I had never had sushi before, and she was scared that I wouldn’t eat there so we went to a place called Pizza Shack. When I got there, I saw her sitting in her car from my side mirror. “Here we go.” I said to myself as I got out of my car and met Sophie at her car as she was getting out. We greeted each other with a nervous hi and we walked to the door. “It’s so pretty outside so I want to I think we should sit outside.” She said with a smile. “I think that’s a great idea.” I answered. We walked inside and asked for a table for two and if we could sit outside, but the patio was closed for some reason that I can’t remember, I think they were cleaning it. Anyway, we both decided to find another place to eat with the patio open. “What do you want to eat?” she asked. “Anything but Mexican food. My stepdad always made Mexican food when I was growing up so I’m a little tired of it.” I answered. “I don’t really like Mexican food either.” she said with a smile.

After a bit of looking, we finally decided to eat at a place called Bahama Breeze. She didn’t want to make me drive any more than I had to, so she offered to drive me there an di accepted. Ok, so remember when I said I wasn’t the best conversationalist, that’s gonna become relevant in this next part. So, we got into her car and before I could get in, I had to move all her painting supplies into her back seat. Sophie’s car was smaller than mine and a nice bright white color. Fitting in the car was a little difficult and because the passenger seat was moved pretty far up so I had to squeeze my long, lanky legs in and push it back to a comfortable position. She got in the car, and I asked her what she liked to paint and if she could show me some of her paintings. “Oh, I like to paint mostly hippie dippy type stuff, I’ll show you some after dinner.” she said. “I can’t wait to see them.” I replied. I wanted to ask her more about her painting interest like when she started but when she turned on her car, I was blasted with sound waves. It felt like my eardrums were ruptured. She immediately turned it down but even after she did the music was still very loud. I could barely hear her when she said, “Sorry on days as nice as this one I like to blast my music with the window down.”  I responded with “I get that. It is a really nice day.” The ride to the restaurant was fine, it was mostly filled with small talk like “what’s your favorite color?” or “Where did you get those rings.” Stuff like that. It was when we got to the restaurant and ordered when my lack of conversation skills started to kick in. There would be times when I was talking up a storm and so was, she, but then there would be awkward silences as well because I just couldn’t think of what to talk about, I was so nervous. But the worst part was yet to come. We ended up playing would you rather and after a few minutes of that I would go into, again, long awkward silences trying to think of what to say. Anyway, after we were done with our food the waitress come to give us the check. Ok, so I’m a moron, and when it comes to speaking, I’m noy very good at it. I’m saying all this because the waitress asked, “Is this going to be together or are we going to split it?” you know, like most waitresses do. And instead of saying, “It’s going to be together.” and paying for our dinner I turn to Sophie and ask, “Do you want to pay for it?” Oh, my holy Christ almighty. I couldn’t believe what I had just said. It’s not what I wanted to say but it’s what I said. Sophie looked at me and just said “We’ll split it.” before I could correct myself and say what I actually wanted to say.

We paid and left the restaurant and one awkwardly silent car ride later we arrived back at the pizza place we originally wanted to eat at and where my car was parked. And before I left for my car, I asked to see some of her paintings, and she pulled out her phone and showed me a few of her pieces. One was an octopus holding guns in its tentacles. She called it a “glocktopus.” Most of the others were frogs, cats, and hippy cats, which were cats dressed like hippies with colorful backgrounds. “Well, I had a lot of fun tonight.” I said before I stepped out of her car. “I did too, but I was worried you thought I was annoying because you didn’t talk that much.” she said. “No, I really enjoyed tonight, and I think you’re awesome, I was just really nervous.” I answered. We said our goodbyes and I went back in my car and drove home. Besides that, one tiny hiccup at the end of dinner I thought it went better than expected. That is until she sent me a video on snapchat the next morning telling me I did basically everything wrong, which I kinda did so I don’t really blame her. Miraculously she decided to actually go on a second date with me after the disaster our first date was. And even more miraculous than that is that we’re still dating and next month will mark our one-year anniversary. And to this day I pay for most every meal we get as to not repeat what happened on our first date.